Yesterday was a good day but exhausting. Went to a mall I've never been to before, which by itself was a nice experience except for the fact that it was a lot bigger than I expected. What was supposed to be a short visit for a specific reason, turned into a 3 hour stay. I had fun spending time with my mother and helping her with groceries and other things, I did not expect to be out from noon until early evening. Yes, we had a lovely day out, and I would never complain about that but I think I might have gotten a little overwhelmed there.
Today's emotional regulation is all over the place, I feel numb, tired and empty. I should be happy after yesterday but I feel nothing at all.
Too awake to go back to sleep, too disinterested to do anything and the ringing in my head too irritating to even hear my own voice. I want to speak, hear myself break this silence but all I manage is to stay quiet and hope that today's gonna get better.
I don't consider myself mute but sometimes, words or even noises won't come out of my throat. I can't watch a film or series because it is too irritating but neither can I read because the voices and scenes I imagine while reading are too loud and strain my energy. At this point I just want to nap some more, turn into a big blanketed burrito and hide in the dark. Maybe I'll be better afterwards, chances are though that this might last the whole day. Either way, let's hope nobody requires much conversation today.
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